The Archaeology of Drivel

Have you ever tried to read a post-modernist paper by say, Lyotard, Derrida, or Foucault, and thought 'what the hell was that all about'? Characteristically, post-modernist essays are verbose and full of dense vocabulary, but tend to say very little.

I keep a copy of Foucault's 'Archaeology of Knowledge' on my shelf for one reason only - to show my students how not to write if they want their reader to understand. Below is an extract from a post-modernist essay. See if you can understand it:

If one examines the capitalist paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either reject surrealism or conclude that consciousness is capable of intent. If prematerial sublimation holds, we have to choose between semantic theory and Derridaist reading.
In a sense, Debord uses the term ‘capitalist capitalism’ to denote the dialectic, and therefore the failure, of postconstructive sexual identity. “Society is intrinsically dead,” says Lacan; however, according to Hanfkopf, it is not so much society that is intrinsically dead, but rather the stasis, and subsequent absurdity, of society. Lyotard’s analysis of semantic theory states that government is part of the defining characteristic of sexuality. It could be said that Sartre promotes the use of the neocapitalist paradigm of discourse to analyse and modify consciousness. If one examines semantic theory, one is faced with a choice: either accept the neocapitalist paradigm of discourse or conclude that society, perhaps surprisingly, has objective value, but only if reality is interchangeable with language; otherwise, Lacan’s model of the materialist paradigm of narrative is one of “Debordist situation”, and thus fundamentally used in the service of maintaining the status quo. The main theme of the works of Burroughs is the bridge between class and sexuality. However, the subject is contextualised involving reality as a paradox.
The primary theme of McElwaine’s critique of Lyotardist narrative is not, in fact, discourse, but subdiscourse. In a sense, Foucault suggests the use of the neocapitalist paradigm of discourse to deconstruct hierarchy. The main theme of the works of Burroughs is a self-supporting totality. Therefore, the subject is interpolated into a means to include language as a reality.
The premise of structuralist deconstruction implies that the purpose of the observer is social comment. In a sense, the subject is contextualised in that it includes consciousness as a totality.

Well, did you understand any of that? If you did, you are (in the words of the post-modernist) 'dissembling'. You see, the abstract above is completely meaningless and was generated by a computer program called the Post Modernism Generator. The program takes stock phrases and sentences at random and simply strings them together. Have a go yourself at generating your own nonsense post-modernist essay. I guarantee you won't be able to tell it apart from the real thing!